


it's the best i can do

by lunick



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: (not really this is really bad angst), Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunick/pseuds/lunick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanai really should've known better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's the best i can do

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written anything (much less angst) in awhile so i'm kinda rusty sorry. title is from the ABBA song "knowing me knowing you."

Knowing Tajima, Hanai should've anticipated this.

He should've known that Tajima is too flighty and easily distracted to be tied down by anyone or anything. That the feelings he said he was having were just going to disintegrate soon enough and that it was all about the physical.

He was too immature, is what Hanai told himself -- Tajima hadn't quite grown up yet, hadn't gotten a grip around what it means to be in a relationship and he didn't quite know it. That was the excuse for what how he acted that Hanai gave, because he wanted to be with him. He wanted to be with Tajima and love him and do all those things you're supposed to do when you're in love.

They had lasted longer than he ever thought, or could've ever hoped. It was right around the five month mark, after the honeymoon stage, long after the shine had worn off, when Hanai's feelings hit him, and suddenly the racing heart and the fogginess in his head made sense to him.

They didn't spend much time talking about their feelings and things like that. After the initial "I like you, you like me, let's go out" phase of the equation, Tajima liked to spend time doing other things, like getting off, or sleeping, or playing baseball. And Hanai thought that that was maybe okay, because he really liked him, and figured that he knew Tajima well enough to assume that this is how he would act in this situation with anyone.

"Tajima--" The right fielder mumbles after pulling his lips away from the clean up hitter's with a small pop. He looks at Tajima, his eyes glazed over and his cheeks feverishly red, soft puffs of air escaping from his mouth and ghosting over Hanai's chin. He has a strong grip on the captain's collar, and the look in his eyes tells Hanai that now was not the time, but he was already going, so he couldn't stop himself. "Tajima, I..." He swallows and wishes he wasn't panting so damn hard, but that was neither here nor there, he couldn't let himself lose his nerve now. "I love you."

The third baseman looks at him a moment, fingers loosening the grip on the fabric of his shirt, shifting back from Hanai's lap and resting his butt on his heels, his face shocked and all semblances of lust snapping away from his features.

"Oh," he says quietly. He presses his lips together, looking puzzled and maybe a little uneasy. Hanai feels uncomfortable too, he thought he knew Tajima and he knew what his reaction would be -- an enthusiastic "I love you too, Hanai," or maybe at least a grin and a wink or something resembling the idea that he feels the same way. But nothing like that came.

Tajima made a soft humming noise and turned his head to the side, choosing to stare at the wrinkles in his sheets rather than anything that has to do with Hanai. He gives a bit of a tight smile, still not looking at the captain, and lets out a breath through his nose that could qualify as a sigh.

"Mm... Hanai..." He starts, voice dull. "I think..." He pauses, his brows twitching downwards for a moment before he looks back to the taller boy and gives him a grin that's too happy for what he's about to say. "I think we should break up."

And Hanai never expected breaking up to be easy, maybe because he never thought that they would break up, but he knew the romantic comedy view of break ups: they're bitter and they're sad and the girl always cries and eats a lot and then ends up angry at the boy for the rest of her life. Which must make him the girl in this situation, because he starts feeling a stinging in his eyes and a knot forming in his throat and he can only manage a soft, choked "oh" before Tajima gets off of him and he leaves without even saying good bye or that he'll see him tomorrow.

He should've known.


End file.
